"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17
It was December 31, 2015, and we had decided to host a New Year's party at our house with our young professionals' group from church. I'm not sure how it happened, but we decided to sit in a circle together and to go around the circle daring each other not to do something for the next year. At that point in my life, I loved Mountain Dew and Coke Zero and was drinking them every day, even though my doctors had suggested I not drink sodas anymore, and so someone got the wise idea to dare me to not drink a single sip of soda in the year 2016.
At first, it was a challenge. I had to really think about not drinking soda. I had to make sure I was aware enough to not just pick one up and drink it out of the habit I had created. I had to remove myself from situations where I might be especially tempted to drink one. And I quickly realized that I was most tempted to drink them when they were in my refrigerator at home, so I decided to rid our house of all of the sodas. The first month was really difficult as I decided to stop and go through with the dare cold turkey, but each month became easier and easier.
And I am proud to say that I did not drink a single sip of soda in the year 2016.
And, Lord willing, on December 31, 2025, it will have been 10 years. 10 years since I drank a single sip of soda. All because of a silly dare.
And as I reflect on these past 10 years, I think about all of the positive changes that have come about from that one, small, silly decision. Now, let me be clear, I have no judgment if you love some Diet Coke or have to have some daily Dr. Pepper Zero. I support you! But as a person who needed to stop drinking soda, I am amazed at the power of that one, tiny decision. That one silly dare.
And it inspires me and empowers me to think about what other small, seemingly insignificant decision might really change my life for the better. If there was something else that I could stop doing or something else that I could start doing today, how would it change my life in 10 years?
I have a tendency to get easily overwhelmed sometimes by my environment. If the house is a mess or I feel a sense of chaos, I have a tendency to freeze. And the mind trick that has helped me get through these moments is asking myself, "What can I do right now to make things just 1% better?" Is it clearing the countertops? Is it taking a garbage bag and eliminating all of the trash? Is it going for a quick walk or stepping outside in nature? What can I do to change things by just 1%? What tiny decision or very small step could I take that will eventually have the same impact as putting down the soda?
And similarly, I have a tendency to put things off and say, "I will do that one day." But what if instead of always making it one day I instead decided to make it day one? Just like the soda and deciding to stop drinking it, what could today be the start of? Making my bed every day? Reading the Bible every day? Making worship a priority? Giving something up that isn't good for me? Incorporating something into my daily schedule that is really good for me? Doing something I've always wanted to do? Slowly making a change that would impact my life from here on out?
Aristotle said, "We are what we repeatedly do," and I believe him. The older I get, the more I realize that I am a product of tiny, seemingly insignificant decisions. I realize that my life is shaped by the small habits that I form day to day. Without realizing it, I made a tiny decision and before I knew it, 10 years had passed. 10 years! And what could my situation be in 10 years if I made a similar type of decision today? What tiny habits could I form today that 10 years from now I will say were life-changing?
And speaking of habits, one of the books that has changed my life the most is Atomic Habits by James Clear. In it, the author teaches us how habits are formed, how to make positive associations and consistency with habits, and how to slowly transform our lives by working on small habits, and I cannot recommend the book highly enough. And with that being said, I want to share the secrets I am learning that make changing and forming new habits easier and that ultimately make big, lasting change.
The best way to stop doing something is to remove the temptation. When I wanted to give up sodas, the easiest way to do it was to remove all of the sodas from our house. And I have found that the best way not to do something is to simply remove the ability to do it. I can't drink a soda if there is no soda to drink. I can't snack on junk if there is no junk to snack on. I am not as likely to eat fast food if I am far away from the fast food. I can't gossip about other people if I avoid situations in which I'm tempted to gossip. I can't be influenced by certain people if I choose not to follow them on social media.
The best way to start doing something is by making it almost impossible not to. If I set my Bible on my nightstand, I'm much more likely to read it. If I set an appointment on my calendar to blog on Sunday, I'm much more likely to write it. If I fill my pantry and fridge with water, I'm much more likely to drink it. If I create a deadline for a goal that I want to meet, I'm much more likely to achieve it. If I prep all of our homeschool lessons and materials before Monday, I'm much more likely to teach it. And by doing little, small actions, it creates the necessary momentum that is necessary to make things happen.
We can replace something negative with something better. When I worked as a speech-language pathologist, I learned all about behavior shaping and that the key to changing a negative behavior is replacing it with a positive behavior and reinforcing it. When we want a child to stop hitting in order to get what he wants, we teach him the appropriate behavior and then reinforce it by allowing him to receive the desired item when he asks correctly. And the same is true for us as adults when we want to change our behavior.
So often we get in a habit of negative behavior or choice. We get in a cycle of choosing the wrong thing over and over again, but we can replace it with a better choice instead. When I decided to stop drinking soda, I chose to replace it with sparkling water, and even though it isn't as exciting as soda, I feel better and still get to enjoy the carbonation. A little over a year ago, I had to give up coffee, but I replaced it with tea. And the neat thing was that because I had already given up soda, the loss of coffee, although much sadder, was so much easier because of the changes I had already made. So often, our habits are just a matter of replacing one thing with something just a little better. Maybe it is walking to the park instead of driving. Maybe it is listening to an audiobook instead of watching TV. Maybe it is reading the Bible or a devotional book when we wake up instead of reaching for the phone.
We can pair something that we don't like with something that we really enjoy or are already doing. Habit stacking is one of my favorite discoveries from the book Atomic Habits, and I have made it my personal mission to pair things I really don't enjoy doing with things that I really love and am already doing consistently. For example, mopping is my least favorite chore, and I really dread it. But mopping is so much more fun while listening to an audiobook or a special playlist. I really dislike flossing with a passion, but I have paired it and stacked it with brushing my teeth with my favorite toothpaste at night to where I don't have to think about it anymore. It happens naturally because it is stacked with a habit I already have mastered. And by finding something that we are already doing or that we enjoy, we can pair it with the habit that is not our favorite and stack the habits to help us form them and get them done.
We can motivate ourselves to do things by giving ourselves new titles. When I decided I wanted to start writing books, I started to think of and treat myself as if I were already an author so that I would motivate myself to write. Research has proven that by calling ourselves what we hope to become that we are far more likely to become it. Do you want to be a vegan? Or a scientist? Or a singer? Or an exerciser? Or a reader? Or a Christian? By treating ourselves like we already are the thing that we desire to be, we automatically increase our chances of becoming it.
One day, or day one? That is the question. Who do I want to be in 10 years? What do I want to be doing or stop doing? I am such a work in progress and have many different areas I am working on, but the work can start today. Right this very moment. I believe in you. I know you can do it. I dare you.
Do you want to make changes in your life to improve it? Do you want today to be day one? Let me share some truth with you right now to encourage you today:
"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." Deuteronomy 31:8
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." Proverbs 31:25
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10
So Much Love,
Comments